


desiderate

by lypiphaera



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bloodplay, F/M, Horror, Implied Cannibalism, Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 05:42:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20737151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lypiphaera/pseuds/lypiphaera
Summary: There are some things that were meant to be kept hidden. Rey finds one.





	desiderate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spacewitchescantdie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacewitchescantdie/gifts).

Ossus was the kind of place Rey had hoped she would never have to see again: a lifeless dirtball, irradiated and scarred from some cataclysmic event that had been lost to time — even Ben wasn't sure what had happened. Its twin yellow suns glared balefully down at the two people on the surface of the planet, the sunlight so bright it nearly bit through the sturdy white hoods they wore to protect them from it. Rey, desert-raised, was comfortable enough in her hood and cloak; Ben, pale-skinned and more used to the climate-controlled interior of starships, was sweaty and uncomfortable.

"What's the matter?" Rey asked cheerfully as they clambered down the rocky canyon. "Too hot for you?"

Ben glared at her and said acidly, pointing to the ground in front of Rey, "Watch your step before you fall off the edge."

The rocks right in front of Rey were indeed loose and crumbling, but she'd noticed that in the back of her mind before Ben had brought it up. A childhood of digging through starship wreckage had taught her how to climb safely. She leapt over the dangerous patch and gave Ben a look.

"It's fine, see?" she said.

Ben grumbled, ducking his head to hide the small smile on his lips. He'd grown a lot easier in her company since he took her hand aboard the _Supremacy_ and abandoned the First Order for the Resistance, but he ran hot and cold, at times basking in the warmth of their Force bond, other times angry and trying his best to shut her out. Rey knew it was the eternal war of Dark and Light inside him, and couldn't begrudge him his struggle.

The rest of the Resistance members, on the other hand…

Well, there was a reason they'd struck out for Ossus alone. And it wasn't just because only Force users could survive the radiation on the surface.

That radiation prickled her skin, but as Rey climbed ever downwards, she breathed in and out and willed her body to push away the poison, to regenerate where she had decayed. It was harder here, with so little life around to help her complete the cycle, but she could do it.

"Stop," Ben said suddenly. "Do you feel that?"

Rey half-closed her eyes and let her consciousness expand, settling halfway into the meditation trance — and then she felt it.

"Ben!" she said, shocked and delighted. "I feel it."

Somewhere deep below them, a wellspring of Force energy was pulsing, steady as a heartbeat. Rey inhaled deeply and felt it swirl around her lungs. This was it; this was her goal. Adegan crystals, buried deep in the heart of the planet.

"Let's go," Ben said.

Finding what they sought filled them with new purpose, and they made their way down the treacherous canyon trails. Once, people had lived here, and carved out these paths to travel down to the caverns that Rey and Ben were seeking. Rey gazed around her as they stopped to drink water. She could almost see them, pale ghosts of Jedi long dead, descending the trails by her side.

_One of you_, she thought. _I'm one of you._

"Rey?"

Ben was frowning at her, his concern strong enough that she could feel it through the bond.

"What is it?" she asked.

He shook his head slowly.

"For a moment, you looked strange," he said. "Like you were…fading. Blurry around the edges."

Rey shrugged.

"Heatstroke," she said. "The sun's getting to you. It'll be better when we're in the caves."

"Heatstroke," he echoed.

"Yes," Rey said firmly.

She turned away from him and kept on her downward climb. He was still for a few seconds before he joined her, scrambling down the steep path behind her.

His eyes were on her back the entire time.

* * *

They entered the cave system right when the suns reached their apex, scorching the surface of the planet. Even Rey was sweating and tired.

"Finally," Ben muttered.

"Seriously," Rey agreed.

The opening to the cave system was just a wide hole in the ground, also steep and rocky. Rey thought longingly of sitting down for a few minutes, but didn't. She could feel the wellspring of the Force still much stronger now. There was something strange about it, an edge to it she couldn't place. Not Darkness, no; she was all too familiar with that particular stench. But…something. It tasted wild, like the X'us'R'iia's ferocity during a storm, like the echo of power in the dark pool on Ahch-To. Rey licked her dry lips.

Ten meters into the cave, they had to get out their glow rods; Jedi could navigate in pure darkness, but that was a lot of energy to waste when they had perfectly reasonable non-Jedi tools that could help.

That was Rey's logic, anyway. Ben acceeded to it grudgingly, seeing the sense.

The cave was all sharp edges, shadows deep and black against the harsh white light of the glow rods. Rey and Ben made their way deeper, deeper.

"Less radiation down here," Ben commented, and Rey nodded distractedly.

"Yes," she said. "Can you feel it, Ben?"

"The crystals?" Ben raised his glow rod to illuminate her face. "Yes, of course."

"Something else," Rey said. "Something…"

Ben's face transformed into something intense.

"Do you feel it?" he asked softly. "Do you feel the Dark?"

"No, not that," she said, still trying to sense exactly what it was. But she couldn't, only that flicker of awareness in her mind. "Never mind."

Then she checked herself. "Do _you_ feel the Dark?"

"No," Ben said slowly. "Just the Force. It's so pure down here."

"That's probably what it is, then," Rey said.

"Probably," Ben agreed.

They made their way deeper.

Rey had never been claustrophobic before, but then, she'd never been this far underground before, either. The walls of the cave seemed to press in on her, oppressive and looming, and the pure blackness ahead of them and behind them where their glow rods didn't touch seemed to beckon. The light flickered with their movement; it was almost as if the cave walls were moving, swallowing them deeper into the gullet of a beast the size of a planet.

_Stop thinking stupid things_, she scolded herself.

Then the tug of the pure Force, the wild Force, increased, burning into her skull, and she stopped still in her path and cried out.

"Rey!" Ben grabbed her by the shoulder and whirled her around. "Rey, what's wrong?"

"I found it," she gasped over the pulse of the wild Force in her head. She pointed. "There."

_There_ was a crack roughly the size of a small person, a channel running perpendicular to their tunnel. As if pleased she had discovered it, the pressure in her head eased.

"Don't you even think about it," Ben warned her.

"I'll be fine," Rey assured him. His hand on her shoulder tightened. "I'll be _fine_, Ben."

"I can't follow you," he said flatly. "The tunnel's too narrow."

"It's okay," she said. "Wait here."

She could feel him debating his own emotions through the Force bond. Finally, he said tersely, "Fine. But if I feel you in trouble, I am going to tear this cave apart to find you."

Her heart jumped. Rey turned toward him, touched his face gently.

"I'm counting on it," she said. "Wait here."

Rey could feel him hovering behind her, his dubiousness humming through the Force. But Rey had done far more dangerous things than wiggling through a narrow cave before. She wouldn't be hurt, not here. The pounding of the Force inside her head assured her of it. The Force would guide her.

Dropping to her knees, then to her belly, Rey squirmed her way into the cave. She could feel airflow brushing past her cheek, and when she reached out with the Force, she felt an echo of life deep inside: the inhabitants of the cave, surviving below the surface where the radiation couldn't touch them. The algae on the walls, the slippery things in the muck. It wasn't too far away, either; she could feel the crystals in the cavern she sought, pulsing like an artery in the Force.

"Rey."

Rey paused. She couldn't tilt her head back — the tunnel was too narrow — but she could still hear Ben.

Ben hesitated for a long moment. Rey could practically see him gnawing on his full lower lip. He would chew on it for a second, thinking hard, then catch himself and try to smooth his face out to polished neutrality. He was bad at that, though; his eyes always gave away his true feelings, and so did the bond.

"Be safe," he finally said, and Rey smiled into the darkness.

"I will," she promised.

Then she reached forward, gripping the rock ahead on her with calloused fingers, and started to wriggle deeper into the cave.

It was slow going and uncomfortable. The tunnel walls scrapped her skin as she pulled herself foward, catching on Rey's back and knees. She had left the glow rod behind, unable to carry it, and in the pure blackness she thought she saw —

There was nothing there.

She could smell water up ahead, a desert-dweller's skill, and soon enough she felt it, dragging herself through mud. It occurred to her that she didn't know how deep the water ran, or if the cave would flood. She couldn't swim.

Rey bit down the spike of panic and thought, _The Force will protect me._

She kept going, ignoring the fear and the pain.

Then ahead of her, she saw a glow. A warm yellow, shining like gold, illuminating the rocky walls of her tunnel.

The Adegan crystals, throbbing with Force potential.

Millimeters at a time, earning herself scrapes and bruises as she went, Rey pulled herself through the tunnel and out into the crystal cavern.

It was beautiful, so beautiful, like the first time she'd seen green and growing things. Crystals were embedded in the walls and even in the floor, throwing glimmering light and deep shadows across the wide cavern. A small stream ran through it, and in there she could sense life, microscopic but there. Rey could feel that life force mingling with the Force thrumming through and between the crystals, completing the cycle.

No wonder ancient Jedi had come here to meditate and collect the crystals for their lightsabers.

_Wish you could see this_, Rey thought to Ben, and pushed her awe and delight across the Force bond to him. Ben's mingled awe and apprehension echoed back at her; he was still wary of this part of the Force, the kind he couldn't dominate or control. The wild Force, the spirit of the crystals, untouched by sapient desires or manipulations.

Rey closed her eyes fully and slipped back into the meditative trance. She could take any crystal for her lightsaber and it would work fine, but there was one in particular she wanted, one that was _meant_ for her. She exhaled and the Force picked up her breath and carried it throughout the cavern.

There it was, its shape sketched by her breath and driven deep into her mind. Rey picked her way across the cavern with sure feet, eyes still closed. She could feel it calling to her, the wild Light.

Rey opened her eyes and crouched beside the crystal, her crystal. It was slim, slim enough to fit inside the hilt of a lightsaber, and long, the length of her hand. Perfect for a saberstaff. Pristine, it shone a brighter color than the rest, a white-gold that drew the eye and heart.

She hadn't brought a chisel to get it out of the ground. She didn't need one. Rey extended her hand and let it hover over the crystal.

_Come to me,_ she thought. _Please_.

There was the crystal, outlined in the Force, and then, as if called by her thought, there was _something else._

It passed over her, a leviathan in the Force, dimpling the swirl of Force energy like a black hole rippling through space-time. Rey cried out as it reached for her, a consciousness that was not sapient, but aware.

It took her and unsealed her mind, digging deep as the cave. It tasted her thoughts, her fears and hopes, sampled her lusts and basked in her wants and desires. It hurt; it felt good; it was the worst and the best thing to ever happen to her.

"What do you want?" Rey whispered.

She wasn't afraid, which she distantly found strange, especially since she could feel Ben's frantic alarm through the bond, and a wave of feeling swept over and through her.

It was hungry. A yawning, ceaseless hunger, not cruel, but unyielding. It did not have malice; it simply wanted to consume. It wanted to make Rey a part of it, and through her, all life on the planet. More than anything, it _wanted._

Its want touched something deep inside Rey, plucking at her heart, and its desire resonated through her. Rey knew what it was to want.

The presence reached for her. And something inside her mind, without her intent or consent, reached back.

* * *

Ben's hands were clenched into fists and his heart was pounding like a drum. He was too tall and broad to crawl into the tunnel, but he was a hairsbreadth away from tearing it apart with the Force and dragging Rey out of whatever cave she'd wandered into when Rey dragged herself out.

She looked like she'd ran through Corellia's seven hells and back, ragged and scraped up, clothes torn and muddy. Her eyes looked like bruises; Ben could see the flutter of her pulse in her neck.

She looked like Ben had the first time he'd let the power of the Dark side flow through him. She looked like a woman who had looked death in the eye and walked away.

But there was a difference there, a brightness in her face that Ben had never had. A peace.

"Look," she said, brandishing something at Ben. "I found it!"

In her hand was an Adegan crystal, which was unsurprising, since that's what she went to find. Its glow reflected in her hectic eyes.

_You need a teacher_. Ben's words; he wasn't going to be like Skywalker and quash his pupil's dreams out of misplaced fear.

"It's beautiful," Ben said hoarsely.

"I know," Rey beamed. "Shall we begin?"

"Here?" Ben asked, a little bemused. "Now?"

"Where better?" Rey tossed her head back and laughed. Ben's eyebrows rose. "When better? Ben, you should've been there. It was wonderful. I've never seen so much light in all my life."

"Here works," Ben said, a flicker of unease running through him. Here, with the crystals in the caverns deep below them, channeling the Force in ways he didn't understand…and Rey, who was stranger and more glorious than he'd ever seen her.

But as Rey kept telling him, he didn't have to understand it. He didn't have to control it. He only had to let the Force flow through him, to direct it without dominating it.

"Yes, here," he said again, aware of Rey's fever-bright eyes locked on him, waiting, wanting. "Let's build your lightsaber."

* * *

Hot, so hot! Rey's skin was scorching in the light of the glow rods. She wasn't meant for this. She was a creature of caves, of shadowed wreckage, of dark tunnels. The crystal in her hand burned, but she wouldn't drop it; it was too valuable.

Worry, pulsing through the Force like a cut artery. Rey opened her eyes.

Ben was staring at her with his brows furrowed, sitting cross-legged in the dirt just like Rey was. Rey could see through his skin to the skeleton that lay beneath, the skull with its ever-present grin, strong femurs, delicate finger bones. And oh, the rest of him: the interplay of muscles and tendons, the maze of nerves and neurons, that rich red blood pumping through his veins. Rey wanted to eat him.

She felt like she was set aflame, but when she glanced down at her arms, she saw only fresh, unblemished skin, freckled and pristine. She looked back up to Ben, who was opening his mouth to say something.

"So," Rey said brightly. "How does it start?"  
Ben shut his mouth. He examined Rey for a moment, forehead creased. Rey could taste his hesitation, could feel the war within him — she wondered briefly if Ben had ever not been fighting his own feelings. If she concentrated, she could feel the filmy outline of his thoughts — _don’t ruin this, let her know her own strength, love her so much, don’t want to lose her —_

Rey had known Ben loved her. She wondered just how much. Her mouth watered.

"It starts," Ben said slowly, "however you feel is right." He shifted uncomfortably. "You have to allow the Force to flow through you, but what form that takes is up to you."

"What was it like for you?"

Ben's eyes shuttered. Rey didn't like that. She leaned forward and tilted Ben's head up with one finger under his chin. Ben jumped like he'd been shocked, but he didn't pull away. Beautiful. The elegant column of his neck, the shape of his collarbone just barely peeking out from underneath his black tunic.

"Tell me," Rey said. "Please."

“The first time,” Ben said, his voice rough, “the first time, I tried to use peace. I tried — “ He closed his eyes. Rey stroked the curved line of his jaw; Ben leaned into it, nearly imperceptibly. “ — I tried to be without attachment. To use serenity to channel the Force.”

“But it didn’t work,” Rey prompted when Ben fell silent.

“I used love instead,” Ben said, his voice choked with something dark and bitter. “I used my attachment to my parents, to my uncle, and poured all my love into the crystal.”

“You had so much to give,” Rey murmured.

“It wasn’t enough,” Ben said. “The crystal cracked. And when I rebuilt the saber…”

His voice trailed off.

“You used hate instead,” Rey said softly.

“Yes,” Ben said. “And see where it got me.” He shook his head. “Don’t draw on the Dark side, Rey. It won’t end well for you.”

“I won’t,” Rey promised. And she wouldn’t. She barely had any hate in her heart to give.

But she was so hungry.

Closing her eyes, she reached for the pulse of the crystal in the Force. It was there, and it wanted to be used. Releasing it, she let it float in midair.

Now was the part where she shaped the metal into a hilt, or in her case, a staff, molding it with her mind and her will.

But the crystal’s energy was calling her, calling her…

She turned her attention not to the metal, but to the crystal. It was like a living thing with the Force as its beating heart. Rey reached for it, brushed against it with her mind.

Like a spark to kindling, hunger bloomed inside her. Nothing that could be satiated by food or sex. She wanted to consume it all, everything, starting with the crystal’s heart.

Within the Force, she spread herself wide, encompassing the crystal, the cave with all its power, the trees and worms and living things. Encompassing Ben. And within the Force, she opened a maw.

She turned it on the crystal first, sucking it dry until it fell to the ground and cracked, nothing but rock now. Then to the crystals in the cave, draining them until she was light-headed with power, all their Force potential coursing through her. Her skin didn’t burn anymore. Nothing hurt. She dug her fingers into the ground, but even hungry like this, she couldn't kill living things that had done her no harm.

But Rey wanted the power. She thirsted for it, hungered for it, like she had wanted knowledge in the dark pool on Ahch-To, like she had wanted her parents to come back, like she wanted Ben.

Rey couldn't hold herself back from this.

Ben's fear was palpable, flooding through the Force, but so was something else. Hunger of his own, lust and hunger, and Rey reached out to it, wanting.

Ben took her hand.

Rey’s eyes opened and she looked at Ben. Ben, whose worried expression had smoothed away. Ben, whose expressive eyes held fear and desire and, most of all, trust. Ben, who would do anything for Rey. Anything.

Rey surged from her position on the ground into Ben's arms, knocking him flat and pinning his arms above his head. Ordinarily, Ben could easily flip her over. Ben could break her, if he wanted. But he didn’t want to. He wanted something else altogether, and so did Rey.

Rey rucked up his tunic, tore it open with strength she didn't usually have. She was glutted with the Force, and she wanted more. She clawed down Ben's chest, leaving vivid red welts, leaned forward and bit him in the strong muscle where his neck connected to his shoulder. He yelped, then groaned as she licked up the blood.

"Yes," Ben whispered, and she could tell that the fever that possessed her had intoxicated him too. "Yes, take it, Rey, take all of me, I'm yours — "

"Yes," Rey hissed, and kissed him, bloody lips against his and her tongue in his mouth. One hand in his hair, tugging hard until he whimpered against her mouth.

His hands were on her hips, sliding up her thighs. The thin fabric of her leggings was a prison.

"Tear them," she whispered to him, and he did, his strong hands ripping them apart until they hung around her legs like rags. Powerful, so powerful! And all hers.

His cock was hard against her and she ground down on him, making him moan. Yes, she wanted this too; she wanted his hunger for her, wanted to take everything he had to give her and then devour the flesh that remained.

She tore the rest of her clothes off her body as Ben did the same, struggling to get his pants off without unseating her. He got them down to his knees before she took his hard cock and guided it to her slick wetness, sinking down on him with a growl.

"This too," she said, rocking back and forth on his cock, hearing him whine, "I want this too — "

Her hand on his chest, her nails digging into his skin until blood welled from the half-moon indentations. Beneath her hand was his heart, beating crazily. She wanted to rip it out and feast on it, wanted him so badly, wanted _everything —_

Her body quivered hard, but orgasm was a fleeting thing; she wanted more. She wanted him to come inside her, wanted to suck the Force out of him — and he would let her, he would let her —

"Rey," he groaned, spilling inside her, and Rey leaned down and captured the syllable in her mouth with a kiss.

"Mine," she whispered, and bit again, bit again. "All mine."

And Ben cried out, "_Yes_."


End file.
